So it was busy last week and I didn't get to post this recap until now but here goes. The drama in this episode was almost as free flowing as the Jagermeister. Almost.
•Audrina and Lauren are shopping and talking about Frankie’s BBQ.
•Lauren tells Audrina that Brody told Jayde about their night together.
•Then Lauren adds a profound quote “It’s not fun when vacation baggage follows you home.” She’s like the Dali Lama of Beverly Hills
•Heidi is blabbing to Kimberly about Stacie the bartender’s text message to Spencer.
•Her master plan is to show up at the club Stacie texted Spencer about and have a showdown.
•Over at the BBQ, Brody tries to calm Jayde about Audrina popping into the party.
•Meanwhile at the club, Heidi and her posse arrive to hunt down Stacie.
•Stephanie uses about a million and one adjectives to describe Stacie, some of which cannot be found in any thesaurus.
•Finally, Stacie arrives and the OMGs ensue.
•Stacie plops down near Heidi and they have a friendly chat.
•Stacie tells Heidi that there will always be another “Stacie” Has Stacie been able to clone herself?
•Jayde’s having a panic attack about Audrina and she calls Frankie retarded. Awesome!
•Audrina shows up and blows some kisses at Brody and Jayde is ticked.
•So Jayde tells off Audrina and uses the f word a couple times then drowns her sorrows in a bottle of Jagermeister. She’s class all the way.
•Spencer and Heidi are back at the therapist’s office and their talking about text messages. The therapist looks like she wishes she could disintegrate them both using mind powers.
•So Stephanie and Audrina are talking about Brody and Jayde’s relationship problems. Is it weird that Audrina is suddenly an expert on relationships? Call Dr. Phil or something!
•Btw, Audrina also knows a lot about Brody. She makes it a point to say how much she knows about him and how long she’s known him.
•How many clubs are there in LA? I love how Hills cast members “run into each other” at random clubs constantly. I appreciate that MTV ensures there will be drama this way.
•Audrina and Stephanie hook up with Brody, Jayde and crew at some club and right away Jayde tells Brody to make them leave.
•Brody tells Jayde he can’t be mean so he’s gonna make her tell Audrina off.
•They all get into a ridiculous confrontation and the Aurdrina leaves so Jayde can go back to swigging Jager and full on mackin on Brody.
•Next day, Audrina and her stupid hat show up to lunch with Lo and Lauren.
•Lauren deals out some sound advice. Maybe she really is the Dali Lama of Beverly Hills!
•In therapy session, Spencer has a breakthrough and then gets choked up. Way to get into the scene Spencer.
•Lauren and Brody spend some friend time at Lauren’s second lunch of the day? I don’t know.
•In any case, Brody says his feelings lie with Jayde and I don’t think Lauren’s too happy with that answer. MTV should’ve done a Heidi flashback after she said that.
•Until next time…
Showing posts with label Stephanie Pratt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stephanie Pratt. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Hills Recap: "I Always Had a Little Crush"
It's time once again for The Hills recap. This week's episode was all about Beaches and Bible study. Enjoy!
•This week Lauren, Lo, Audrina and Stephanie crash Brody and gang’s par-tay in Hawaii and they all do shots to celebrate.
•Then we skip to the group on the beach. The boys are surfing and the girls are soaking up the sun.
•Audrina and Stephanie are yakking about Justin Bobby.
•Just when I thought California didn’t have anything I could identify with, they show Spencer and Heidi in a Barnes and Nobles.
•Heidi drops the news that her 3rd grade boyfriend Colby is coming to town.
•Back in Hawaii, the kids are sitting around a campfire and having a conversation I think I had in 7th grade.
•Stephanie wants to know if she’s single now; hint, hint Brody that’s your cue to begin crush stage one with Audrina.
•Btw, Brody has also noted that Audrina has on the hottest one piece bathing suit he’s ever seen.
•Meanwhile in Speidiland, the pair is at an awkward dinner with Heidi’s 3rd grade boyfriend Colby and his current girlfriend.
•Spencer’s like obsessed with the fact that Colby goes to Bible College and he’s a virgin.
•Colby’s girlfriend Ashley tells Heidi about 50 million times that she looks different! Why didn’t she just go ahead and ask the name of Heidi’s plastic surgeon?
•This double date is the best pairing ever! Spencer and Heidi are like Satan’s children living in LA and Colby and Ashley are the Uber-Baptists facing temptation in the “big city.”
•Colby and Ashley don’t drink and stay in separate hotel rooms.
•Spencer mentions that he’s had a subscription to Playboy since he was 14 and Colby just says “God forgives.” Right on, brother!
•Colby also talks about that he won’t even dance cause he was raised Southern Baptist. Why do they have to be so stereotypical?
•Then Spencer invites Colby for boxing the next day. I bet Colby can’t wait. I’d like to see him knock Spencer out.
•In Hawaii, Stephanie and Audrina are yakking about Justin Bobby and Brody again. Stephanie thinks that Audrina should hook up with Brody to make Justin Bobby jealous. Sounds like a good plan.
•Spencer and Colby are on their boxing date and Spencer’s still obsessed with the whole Bible college and virgins thing.
•So boxing seems like a pretty good time to discuss theology. Spencer calls Colby an alien (cause he’s a virgin) and then they make Bible study plans.
•Spencer’s challenge to Colby: find the Bible verse that says there is no sex before marriage.
•Back in Hawaii, Audrina admits her crush on Brody in front of everyone at dinner.
•At Bible study, nothing much happens except for Spencer being his usual rude self.
•Following dinner, Brody’s boys talk to him about Audrina’s hotness and encourage him to hook up with her.
•Brody takes the bait and goes to talk to Audrina, interrupting her phone call with Justin Bobby.
•They talk about “friendship” or something.
•The next morning, Lo, Lauren and Stephanie are trying to figure out if the Brodster and Audrina hooked up.
•In LA, Spencer’s diggin’ Colby’s Let It to Beaver vibe and that’s how he’s going to act with Heidi from now on.
•So Brody wakes up and goes to hang out with his posse. He admits that he cheated on his girlfriend with Audrina.
•Then the guys ask if he’s going to call his girlfriend to let her know. I say he should just let it go. I’m sure if he’s careful he can enjoy two months before the show actually airs and she can just get the news then.
•Audrina finally pops out of her bedroom and only admits that she slept in the same room in the same bed as Brody.
•The other girls think Jayde might come after her over Brody and Audrina says she’s totally ready for WWIII.
•That’s all folks!
•This week Lauren, Lo, Audrina and Stephanie crash Brody and gang’s par-tay in Hawaii and they all do shots to celebrate.
•Then we skip to the group on the beach. The boys are surfing and the girls are soaking up the sun.
•Audrina and Stephanie are yakking about Justin Bobby.
•Just when I thought California didn’t have anything I could identify with, they show Spencer and Heidi in a Barnes and Nobles.
•Heidi drops the news that her 3rd grade boyfriend Colby is coming to town.
•Back in Hawaii, the kids are sitting around a campfire and having a conversation I think I had in 7th grade.
•Stephanie wants to know if she’s single now; hint, hint Brody that’s your cue to begin crush stage one with Audrina.
•Btw, Brody has also noted that Audrina has on the hottest one piece bathing suit he’s ever seen.
•Meanwhile in Speidiland, the pair is at an awkward dinner with Heidi’s 3rd grade boyfriend Colby and his current girlfriend.
•Spencer’s like obsessed with the fact that Colby goes to Bible College and he’s a virgin.
•Colby’s girlfriend Ashley tells Heidi about 50 million times that she looks different! Why didn’t she just go ahead and ask the name of Heidi’s plastic surgeon?
•This double date is the best pairing ever! Spencer and Heidi are like Satan’s children living in LA and Colby and Ashley are the Uber-Baptists facing temptation in the “big city.”
•Colby and Ashley don’t drink and stay in separate hotel rooms.
•Spencer mentions that he’s had a subscription to Playboy since he was 14 and Colby just says “God forgives.” Right on, brother!
•Colby also talks about that he won’t even dance cause he was raised Southern Baptist. Why do they have to be so stereotypical?
•Then Spencer invites Colby for boxing the next day. I bet Colby can’t wait. I’d like to see him knock Spencer out.
•In Hawaii, Stephanie and Audrina are yakking about Justin Bobby and Brody again. Stephanie thinks that Audrina should hook up with Brody to make Justin Bobby jealous. Sounds like a good plan.
•Spencer and Colby are on their boxing date and Spencer’s still obsessed with the whole Bible college and virgins thing.
•So boxing seems like a pretty good time to discuss theology. Spencer calls Colby an alien (cause he’s a virgin) and then they make Bible study plans.
•Spencer’s challenge to Colby: find the Bible verse that says there is no sex before marriage.
•Back in Hawaii, Audrina admits her crush on Brody in front of everyone at dinner.
•At Bible study, nothing much happens except for Spencer being his usual rude self.
•Following dinner, Brody’s boys talk to him about Audrina’s hotness and encourage him to hook up with her.
•Brody takes the bait and goes to talk to Audrina, interrupting her phone call with Justin Bobby.
•They talk about “friendship” or something.
•The next morning, Lo, Lauren and Stephanie are trying to figure out if the Brodster and Audrina hooked up.
•In LA, Spencer’s diggin’ Colby’s Let It to Beaver vibe and that’s how he’s going to act with Heidi from now on.
•So Brody wakes up and goes to hang out with his posse. He admits that he cheated on his girlfriend with Audrina.
•Then the guys ask if he’s going to call his girlfriend to let her know. I say he should just let it go. I’m sure if he’s careful he can enjoy two months before the show actually airs and she can just get the news then.
•Audrina finally pops out of her bedroom and only admits that she slept in the same room in the same bed as Brody.
•The other girls think Jayde might come after her over Brody and Audrina says she’s totally ready for WWIII.
•That’s all folks!
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Hills Recap "Crazy in Love"
Time for another Hills recap. Instead of "Crazy in Love" I'm renaming this episode "Crazy and Dumb." Just watch and you'll see what I mean.
•The episode starts with Lauren and Audrina reminiscing about days gone by.
•Audrina babbles on about Justin Bobby , relationships, dating, blah, blah, blah.
•Of note, Lauren has a small side braid in her hair again. That’s her hair theme for this season.
•At People’s Revolution Stephanie is getting work tips from Lauren while folding clothes.
•Then Kelly Cutrone comes along and dumps out the box Stephanie just finished stuffing and tells her that she can’t eat crackers over the boxes of clothes.
•Kelly says “I am watching you Stephanie Pratt.” That line from Kelly is more terrifying than when I read “Big Brother is watching you” in 1984. If I were Stephanie, I’d be freakin out.
•Over at Bolthouse, Spencer rings up Heidi for a conversation in his car. Why do they always have discussions in his car? If I had no life, I’d go back and watch episodes of The Hills to count the number of times these car conversations have taken place. I’m just gonna go ahead and guess 50.
•So Spencer tells Heidi that he feels caged up. He also tells her that he’s not into Stacie the bartender because she’s not blond and he’s into blonds. Spencer is so comforting.
•Basically the conversation ends with Heidi insisting that they go to therapy to save their relationship.
•Next we have Laruen, Lo and Holly (Heidi’s sister) meet Brody and his buds and girlfriend at the club du jour.
•Brody and co. start talking about their Hawaii trip and Laruen wants to know why they’re not invited. Does it bother anyone else that Lauren has a sense of entitlement about everything?
•Anyhoo, Brody tells her it’s a guys’ trip and she can come another time.
•Then Lauren spies Justin Bobby and she mouths it the words to Audrina. She has to totally lean all over this guy sitting between her and Audrina who is obviously some sort of filler person like they have at awards shows. He has a look on his face like “shoot me now.”
•Justin Bobby moseys over and Audrina gives him a hug and pat.
•He wants to know why she’s patting him as if he needs to be burped. Justin Bobby is so random.
•Brody comes over to Audrina and just puts it out there that her hellos with J. Bob was awkward. He gives her some sage advice about how she’s beautiful and she needs to just go have fun.
•Meanwhile, Brody’s girlfriend is whispering to Lo wanting to know the name of the girl Brody is talking to. Is this her first date with Brody? Does she not own a TV? Did MTV not give her a copy of the script and pictures of The Hills’ cast? Hello?
•As soon as Brody finishes his convo with Audrina, clueless girlfriend has a make out session with him. I think this was supposed to be a sign of marking her territory.
•The next day at Audrina’s house, Stephanie drops by and they discuss Justin Bobby. They go back and forth about her feelings for J.B. It’s boring.
•We’re back clubbin again and Brody and his girlfriend are grabbing boobs and junk or something.
•Brody calls Spencer to invite him to Hawaii and Spencer tells him he’s in Vegas even though he’s sitting in his apartment with Heidi. Heidi can’t wait to discuss this with the therapist.
•Back at the club, Audrina is getting advice from some dude named Sleazy T. Justin Bobby arrives and he tells her that life is too short, blah, blah, blah.
•On to more important matters at People’s Revolution, Stephanie does not understand how to properly answer phones at a business. She picks up the phone and then immediately hangs up. That brings in the customers!
•Then Lauren asks her about some clothes in a box and whether or not it’s been checked in. Stephanie can’t remember or pay attention to the conversation.
•She’s also not a fan of confrontation but I’m pretty sure I remember her being confrontational with Lauren (pre- BFF) regarding Heidi and Spencer. Things that make you go hmmm...
•Spencer and Heidi are off to therapy and the Dr. is able to diagnose the problem in 3 minutes. Their issues are high schoolish. Nice one doc!
•Then they go through a therapy exercise that accomplishes nothing.
•Later on Audrina, Lauren and Lo go have food somewhere and talk about Hawaii. They decide to just show up in Hawaii and barge in on Brody and company’s trip.
•Lo thinks Audrina is going to hook up with Brody. Thanks for the future episode set up Lo!
•The episode starts with Lauren and Audrina reminiscing about days gone by.
•Audrina babbles on about Justin Bobby , relationships, dating, blah, blah, blah.
•Of note, Lauren has a small side braid in her hair again. That’s her hair theme for this season.
•At People’s Revolution Stephanie is getting work tips from Lauren while folding clothes.
•Then Kelly Cutrone comes along and dumps out the box Stephanie just finished stuffing and tells her that she can’t eat crackers over the boxes of clothes.
•Kelly says “I am watching you Stephanie Pratt.” That line from Kelly is more terrifying than when I read “Big Brother is watching you” in 1984. If I were Stephanie, I’d be freakin out.
•Over at Bolthouse, Spencer rings up Heidi for a conversation in his car. Why do they always have discussions in his car? If I had no life, I’d go back and watch episodes of The Hills to count the number of times these car conversations have taken place. I’m just gonna go ahead and guess 50.
•So Spencer tells Heidi that he feels caged up. He also tells her that he’s not into Stacie the bartender because she’s not blond and he’s into blonds. Spencer is so comforting.
•Basically the conversation ends with Heidi insisting that they go to therapy to save their relationship.
•Next we have Laruen, Lo and Holly (Heidi’s sister) meet Brody and his buds and girlfriend at the club du jour.
•Brody and co. start talking about their Hawaii trip and Laruen wants to know why they’re not invited. Does it bother anyone else that Lauren has a sense of entitlement about everything?
•Anyhoo, Brody tells her it’s a guys’ trip and she can come another time.
•Then Lauren spies Justin Bobby and she mouths it the words to Audrina. She has to totally lean all over this guy sitting between her and Audrina who is obviously some sort of filler person like they have at awards shows. He has a look on his face like “shoot me now.”
•Justin Bobby moseys over and Audrina gives him a hug and pat.
•He wants to know why she’s patting him as if he needs to be burped. Justin Bobby is so random.
•Brody comes over to Audrina and just puts it out there that her hellos with J. Bob was awkward. He gives her some sage advice about how she’s beautiful and she needs to just go have fun.
•Meanwhile, Brody’s girlfriend is whispering to Lo wanting to know the name of the girl Brody is talking to. Is this her first date with Brody? Does she not own a TV? Did MTV not give her a copy of the script and pictures of The Hills’ cast? Hello?
•As soon as Brody finishes his convo with Audrina, clueless girlfriend has a make out session with him. I think this was supposed to be a sign of marking her territory.
•The next day at Audrina’s house, Stephanie drops by and they discuss Justin Bobby. They go back and forth about her feelings for J.B. It’s boring.
•We’re back clubbin again and Brody and his girlfriend are grabbing boobs and junk or something.
•Brody calls Spencer to invite him to Hawaii and Spencer tells him he’s in Vegas even though he’s sitting in his apartment with Heidi. Heidi can’t wait to discuss this with the therapist.
•Back at the club, Audrina is getting advice from some dude named Sleazy T. Justin Bobby arrives and he tells her that life is too short, blah, blah, blah.
•On to more important matters at People’s Revolution, Stephanie does not understand how to properly answer phones at a business. She picks up the phone and then immediately hangs up. That brings in the customers!
•Then Lauren asks her about some clothes in a box and whether or not it’s been checked in. Stephanie can’t remember or pay attention to the conversation.
•She’s also not a fan of confrontation but I’m pretty sure I remember her being confrontational with Lauren (pre- BFF) regarding Heidi and Spencer. Things that make you go hmmm...
•Spencer and Heidi are off to therapy and the Dr. is able to diagnose the problem in 3 minutes. Their issues are high schoolish. Nice one doc!
•Then they go through a therapy exercise that accomplishes nothing.
•Later on Audrina, Lauren and Lo go have food somewhere and talk about Hawaii. They decide to just show up in Hawaii and barge in on Brody and company’s trip.
•Lo thinks Audrina is going to hook up with Brody. Thanks for the future episode set up Lo!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Hills Recap-"I'm Done With You"
Time for the recap of episode 3. Therapy sessions are in Spencer and Heidi's future and Stephanie gets either a lucky or unlucky break at People's Revolution, depending on Kelly's mood.
•So Stephanie just lets herself in Spencer and Heidi’s apartment and Spencer is doing nothing as usual. He hurls a nasty comment at Stephanie regarding her hat. Bravo!
•Then Stephanie gives Spencer the 411 on Heidi’s 3rd grade boyfriend.
•Spencer decides his reaction to this should be to go out and have fun too and Stephanie tells him to be on his best behavior as if she’s admonishing an elementary school student.
•Lauren sits down for a meeting with Kelly Cutrone and Kelly likes her shirt even thought it’s not black. I thought Kelly specifically told Lauren and Whitney that they always had to wear black. Did MTV convince her that there are other colors that are camera friendly?
•Also, why does Kelly always look like a hot mess? Please, someone advise.
•So Kelly wants to get a new intern and she wants Lauren’s help. Watch out Lauren.
•MTV has alerted Stephanie that People’s Revolution wants a new hire and so she starts working over Lauren at lunch.
•Back at Heidi and Spencer’s, they’re discussing their relationship and if it’s worse to eat dinner with your 3rd grade boyfriend or do shots with a hot bartender.
•Fantastic! Stephanie arrives for her interview with Kelly Cutrone and she’s way nervous.
•This interview is the best! Stephanie looks like she’s about to wet her pants when she tells Kelly that her final objective in life is to have a hand bag line.
•Unfortunately for Stephanie, Kelly frowns on interns using her company to promote themselves.
•Kelly is most interested in knowing if Stephanie is capable of printing labels. Stephanie looks at her like a deer caught in headlights. She gives the same look when Kelly begins speaking French.
•Kelly also explains that crying is not allowed in her office. This looks like a good time for me to start taking bets on how long Stephanie can go without crying on the job.
•So finally the world’s funniest interview is over and we’re in the car with Spencer and his out of work porn star friend Charlie. Charlie has some funky car dance moves.
•Meanwhile, Heidi and Stephanie are out for sushi and they decide to roll up on Spencer and Charlie.
•So Stephanie and Heidi find Spencer chillin with Stacie the bartender and her peeps. Heidi drops an f-bomb!
•Then the insults start flying back and forth and I heard something about home wrecker and dog and housebroken. Man, these kids are witty!
•Heidi spent the night with Stephanie and decided during the night to break up with Spencer.
•Stephanie has a better idea and suggests therapy cause everybody in LA has a therapist.
•Back at People’s Revolution, Kelly tells Lauren that she’s responsible for Stephanie and if she messes up, it’s Lauren’s head. Lauren now looks like a deer caught in headlights.
•Best line of the night was from Kelly to Lauren, referring to Stephanie, “You may want to kiss her on the cheek but I’d put a gun to her back and make sure she stands up straight.” Brilliant!
•Then Heidi meets up with Spencer for breakfast or brunch or something. They don’t have real schedules anyway; they’ve got all the time in the world.
•Heidi lays down the law and tells Spencer they need therapy.
•Spencer believes a therapist’s credentials are only defined by the fact that they went to school one year longer than he did.
•The waiter comes by the table and delivers the scripted set up for Heidi to drop the final line of the show, “we’re done.” Finally!
•So Stephanie just lets herself in Spencer and Heidi’s apartment and Spencer is doing nothing as usual. He hurls a nasty comment at Stephanie regarding her hat. Bravo!
•Then Stephanie gives Spencer the 411 on Heidi’s 3rd grade boyfriend.
•Spencer decides his reaction to this should be to go out and have fun too and Stephanie tells him to be on his best behavior as if she’s admonishing an elementary school student.
•Lauren sits down for a meeting with Kelly Cutrone and Kelly likes her shirt even thought it’s not black. I thought Kelly specifically told Lauren and Whitney that they always had to wear black. Did MTV convince her that there are other colors that are camera friendly?
•Also, why does Kelly always look like a hot mess? Please, someone advise.
•So Kelly wants to get a new intern and she wants Lauren’s help. Watch out Lauren.
•MTV has alerted Stephanie that People’s Revolution wants a new hire and so she starts working over Lauren at lunch.
•Back at Heidi and Spencer’s, they’re discussing their relationship and if it’s worse to eat dinner with your 3rd grade boyfriend or do shots with a hot bartender.
•Fantastic! Stephanie arrives for her interview with Kelly Cutrone and she’s way nervous.
•This interview is the best! Stephanie looks like she’s about to wet her pants when she tells Kelly that her final objective in life is to have a hand bag line.
•Unfortunately for Stephanie, Kelly frowns on interns using her company to promote themselves.
•Kelly is most interested in knowing if Stephanie is capable of printing labels. Stephanie looks at her like a deer caught in headlights. She gives the same look when Kelly begins speaking French.
•Kelly also explains that crying is not allowed in her office. This looks like a good time for me to start taking bets on how long Stephanie can go without crying on the job.
•So finally the world’s funniest interview is over and we’re in the car with Spencer and his out of work porn star friend Charlie. Charlie has some funky car dance moves.
•Meanwhile, Heidi and Stephanie are out for sushi and they decide to roll up on Spencer and Charlie.
•So Stephanie and Heidi find Spencer chillin with Stacie the bartender and her peeps. Heidi drops an f-bomb!
•Then the insults start flying back and forth and I heard something about home wrecker and dog and housebroken. Man, these kids are witty!
•Heidi spent the night with Stephanie and decided during the night to break up with Spencer.
•Stephanie has a better idea and suggests therapy cause everybody in LA has a therapist.
•Back at People’s Revolution, Kelly tells Lauren that she’s responsible for Stephanie and if she messes up, it’s Lauren’s head. Lauren now looks like a deer caught in headlights.
•Best line of the night was from Kelly to Lauren, referring to Stephanie, “You may want to kiss her on the cheek but I’d put a gun to her back and make sure she stands up straight.” Brilliant!
•Then Heidi meets up with Spencer for breakfast or brunch or something. They don’t have real schedules anyway; they’ve got all the time in the world.
•Heidi lays down the law and tells Spencer they need therapy.
•Spencer believes a therapist’s credentials are only defined by the fact that they went to school one year longer than he did.
•The waiter comes by the table and delivers the scripted set up for Heidi to drop the final line of the show, “we’re done.” Finally!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The Hills Recap-"Everything Happens for a Reason"
It's time for the recap for episode 2 of The Hills. I'm summarizing this episode as all about deep thoughts.
•Stephanie and Spencer are fighting again. Snooze.
•But wait, something’s different. Stephanie tells Spencer that the loyalty thing is so over and he sucks. At last!
•Lauren,Audrina and Lo are talking about drama at the b-day party. Blah, blah, blah.
•Next up, Heidi walks with purpose into the bar with the infamous bartender Stacie.
•She talks to Stacie and actually asks if she remembers Spencer from the other night. Why doesn’t she just say, “Remember when MTV came in and was shooting scenes for The Hills the other night?” But I guess Hiedi’s keepin it real.
•Stacie does remember Spencer as “the fighter” but she does not realize that Spencer had a girlfriend. Hmmm….I guess she doesn’t own a TV.
•The conversation with the bartender makes Hiedi’s jaw drops so low you’d think she’d never had plastic surgery.
•Heidi leaves for Colorado to figure things out. I wish I could runaway somewhere when things in my life get rocky.
•Stephanie and Lauren have an awkward chat about Heidi. Stephanie has a hard time picking up on social cues and context clues. I’m guessing she would also have trouble with Blue’s Clues.
•So then Spencer decides to engage in a little Bromance and calls up Brody.
•Best line of the night is Spencer saying “it’s bananas homey.” He’s like a lame version of Gwen Stefani. (No offense to Gwen Stefani)
•Meanwhile, Heidi’s mom is trying to hook her up with her boyfriend from the 3rd grade.
•Heidi feels like this is set up or something. Hmm…I wonder if Heidi feels the same way about everything that happens on The Hills?
•Lauren and Brody go out and discuss deep thoughts.
•Heidi and her mom are on the balcony staring at the snow and discussing deep thoughts.
•Now Spencer’s back at the same bar with the same bartender.
•The bartender tells Spencer his girlfriend is nuts and then they drink a toast to it.
•Then the dialogue runs out and they just stare at each other and maybe they’re thinking deep thoughts?
•Stephanie and Spencer are fighting again. Snooze.
•But wait, something’s different. Stephanie tells Spencer that the loyalty thing is so over and he sucks. At last!
•Lauren,Audrina and Lo are talking about drama at the b-day party. Blah, blah, blah.
•Next up, Heidi walks with purpose into the bar with the infamous bartender Stacie.
•She talks to Stacie and actually asks if she remembers Spencer from the other night. Why doesn’t she just say, “Remember when MTV came in and was shooting scenes for The Hills the other night?” But I guess Hiedi’s keepin it real.
•Stacie does remember Spencer as “the fighter” but she does not realize that Spencer had a girlfriend. Hmmm….I guess she doesn’t own a TV.
•The conversation with the bartender makes Hiedi’s jaw drops so low you’d think she’d never had plastic surgery.
•Heidi leaves for Colorado to figure things out. I wish I could runaway somewhere when things in my life get rocky.
•Stephanie and Lauren have an awkward chat about Heidi. Stephanie has a hard time picking up on social cues and context clues. I’m guessing she would also have trouble with Blue’s Clues.
•So then Spencer decides to engage in a little Bromance and calls up Brody.
•Best line of the night is Spencer saying “it’s bananas homey.” He’s like a lame version of Gwen Stefani. (No offense to Gwen Stefani)
•Meanwhile, Heidi’s mom is trying to hook her up with her boyfriend from the 3rd grade.
•Heidi feels like this is set up or something. Hmm…I wonder if Heidi feels the same way about everything that happens on The Hills?
•Lauren and Brody go out and discuss deep thoughts.
•Heidi and her mom are on the balcony staring at the snow and discussing deep thoughts.
•Now Spencer’s back at the same bar with the same bartender.
•The bartender tells Spencer his girlfriend is nuts and then they drink a toast to it.
•Then the dialogue runs out and they just stare at each other and maybe they’re thinking deep thoughts?
The Hills Recap-"Don't Cry on Your Birthday"
The final season of The Hills has arrived and in honor of that, I've decided to recap each episode. I know, I'm like 4 episodes behind now but give me a chance and I'll catch up.
So the 1st episode was all about Lauren's b'day party and all the drama that came along with it. Here goes:
•Stephanie tells Heidi “it’s 100% fine” for her to go to Lauren’s b-day party. The par-tay is on a yacht so Lauren won’t be able to escape. Stephanie’s a mastermind of putting people in awkward situations. Sweet!
•Lo and Audrina have the whole party planned as a surprise. They discuss Heidi and state about 5 times to the camera that they did not invite her.
•What kind of lipstick is Lauren wearing? It’s like vampire red. Not sure if it matches her ‘stache.
•I love that Heidi tells Spencer that Stephanie arranged this whole “girls night out” and then Stephanie immediately debunks it and says she didn’t arrange anything. Spencer wants to know if “the queen bi-otch” is going to be there. Btw, he means Lauren.
•Why does Lauren get to have her birthday party on a yacht? And what birthday is this anyway? I was discussing this with a fellow Hills watcher and we’re convinced Lauren has a birthday every six months and also when MTV needs a party atmosphere for an episode or just whenever Lauren is bored. That should make her about 42.
•So Spencer goes to some bar with his friend Charlie who looks like an out of work 1970’s porn star. They do shots of tequila with the bartender and Spencer reminisces about his Mexican wedding that didn’t count.
•Meanwhile back on the boat, Heidi and Stephanie show up late and Lauren gives Heidi the evil eye while simultaneously hugging her.
•Fun question! Lauren, why do you continue to hang out with Stephanie?
•Stephanie’s trying to be some sort of weird friendship matchmaker.
•Spencer yells to the bartender (like she cares) that “that’s my sister’s ex-boyfriend over there.” Then he just has to get up and say hello. Spencer takes directorial cues very well.
•The ex-boyfriend texts Stephanie about Spencer’s flirting!
•Wow! Stephanie and Audrina really know how to keep a secret!
•Just like the telephone game, word gets to Lauren. Even though she doesn’t want to be friends with Heidi, she still has to go find out what’s happening.
•Spencer hangs up with Heidi and then confronts Cameron. Awesome! He calls him dawg 3 or 4 times and then challenges Cameron to touch him first so he can mess him up.
•What do you know! Those martial arts classes really helped Spencer. He actually made Cameron bleed!
•Lauren tries to console Heidi and then wants to know if she can be real for a minute.
•Then things get “very real” when Lauren and Heidi cry about their broken friendship. End scene.
•Shakespeare’s got nothing on this tragedy.
So the 1st episode was all about Lauren's b'day party and all the drama that came along with it. Here goes:
•Stephanie tells Heidi “it’s 100% fine” for her to go to Lauren’s b-day party. The par-tay is on a yacht so Lauren won’t be able to escape. Stephanie’s a mastermind of putting people in awkward situations. Sweet!
•Lo and Audrina have the whole party planned as a surprise. They discuss Heidi and state about 5 times to the camera that they did not invite her.
•What kind of lipstick is Lauren wearing? It’s like vampire red. Not sure if it matches her ‘stache.
•I love that Heidi tells Spencer that Stephanie arranged this whole “girls night out” and then Stephanie immediately debunks it and says she didn’t arrange anything. Spencer wants to know if “the queen bi-otch” is going to be there. Btw, he means Lauren.
•Why does Lauren get to have her birthday party on a yacht? And what birthday is this anyway? I was discussing this with a fellow Hills watcher and we’re convinced Lauren has a birthday every six months and also when MTV needs a party atmosphere for an episode or just whenever Lauren is bored. That should make her about 42.
•So Spencer goes to some bar with his friend Charlie who looks like an out of work 1970’s porn star. They do shots of tequila with the bartender and Spencer reminisces about his Mexican wedding that didn’t count.
•Meanwhile back on the boat, Heidi and Stephanie show up late and Lauren gives Heidi the evil eye while simultaneously hugging her.
•Fun question! Lauren, why do you continue to hang out with Stephanie?
•Stephanie’s trying to be some sort of weird friendship matchmaker.
•Spencer yells to the bartender (like she cares) that “that’s my sister’s ex-boyfriend over there.” Then he just has to get up and say hello. Spencer takes directorial cues very well.
•The ex-boyfriend texts Stephanie about Spencer’s flirting!
•Wow! Stephanie and Audrina really know how to keep a secret!
•Just like the telephone game, word gets to Lauren. Even though she doesn’t want to be friends with Heidi, she still has to go find out what’s happening.
•Spencer hangs up with Heidi and then confronts Cameron. Awesome! He calls him dawg 3 or 4 times and then challenges Cameron to touch him first so he can mess him up.
•What do you know! Those martial arts classes really helped Spencer. He actually made Cameron bleed!
•Lauren tries to console Heidi and then wants to know if she can be real for a minute.
•Then things get “very real” when Lauren and Heidi cry about their broken friendship. End scene.
•Shakespeare’s got nothing on this tragedy.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sweet Salaries in The Hills
OK peeps, I know this is super old news but I had forgotten about it until I was recapping this week's episode of The Hills with a friend. Way back in August, In Touch Weekly got a hold of the salaries for the stars of MTV's prima donna fashioned reality show. I posted the list below so you can see for yourselves. Keep in mind that these salaries are not annual. THEY ARE PER EPISODE.
Lauren alone makes $75,000 per episode and the rest of the cast follows suit. I used to think it'd be great to make $75,000 in a year. That's a decent salary! But $75,000 per episdode? Per Episode? Blood may come shooting out of my eyeballs! (to borrow a phrase from Glenn Beck)
Do they pay Lauren by how many times she paints her nails? Whitney by each facial expression and OMG? Spencer every time he offers a snide remark or by the length of his flesh colored beard? The Soup video below may prove both enligtening and entertaining on this point.
Lauren Conrad: $75,000 / episode
Heidi Montag: $65,000 / episode
Spencer Pratt: $65,000 / episode
Audrina Patridge: $35,000 / episode
Whitney Port: $20,000 / episode
Brody Jenner: $10,000 / episode
Lauren “Lo” Bosworth: $10,000 / episode
Stephanie Pratt: $8,000 / episode
Source, Source, Source
Lauren alone makes $75,000 per episode and the rest of the cast follows suit. I used to think it'd be great to make $75,000 in a year. That's a decent salary! But $75,000 per episdode? Per Episode? Blood may come shooting out of my eyeballs! (to borrow a phrase from Glenn Beck)
Do they pay Lauren by how many times she paints her nails? Whitney by each facial expression and OMG? Spencer every time he offers a snide remark or by the length of his flesh colored beard? The Soup video below may prove both enligtening and entertaining on this point.
Lauren Conrad: $75,000 / episode
Heidi Montag: $65,000 / episode
Spencer Pratt: $65,000 / episode
Audrina Patridge: $35,000 / episode
Whitney Port: $20,000 / episode
Brody Jenner: $10,000 / episode
Lauren “Lo” Bosworth: $10,000 / episode
Stephanie Pratt: $8,000 / episode
Source, Source, Source
Monday, May 12, 2008
Head for The Hills
Tonight is the season finale of The Hills, MTV's most popular show. I'll definitely be on the couch watching. The girls from The Hills have been through a lot this season. Speidi remained in relationship limbo, Stephen Colletti (and yes I've been told that it's sad that I actually know his last name) made a cameo appearance, and Audrina and Justin Bobby are back together? Recently, Lo, Lauren and Audrina moved in together and Audrina was immediately banished to the guest house. Lauren and Whitney have left Teen Vogue and are working at People's Revolution together. Lauren and Stephanie Pratt have become fast friends but I think they are really frienemies. Tonight's episode however, promises to focus on the mounting tension between Lauren, Audrina and Lo. I'm sure plenty of drama will ensue.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)