It's time once again for The Hills recap. This week's episode was all about Beaches and Bible study. Enjoy!
•This week Lauren, Lo, Audrina and Stephanie crash Brody and gang’s par-tay in Hawaii and they all do shots to celebrate.
•Then we skip to the group on the beach. The boys are surfing and the girls are soaking up the sun.
•Audrina and Stephanie are yakking about Justin Bobby.
•Just when I thought California didn’t have anything I could identify with, they show Spencer and Heidi in a Barnes and Nobles.
•Heidi drops the news that her 3rd grade boyfriend Colby is coming to town.
•Back in Hawaii, the kids are sitting around a campfire and having a conversation I think I had in 7th grade.
•Stephanie wants to know if she’s single now; hint, hint Brody that’s your cue to begin crush stage one with Audrina.
•Btw, Brody has also noted that Audrina has on the hottest one piece bathing suit he’s ever seen.
•Meanwhile in Speidiland, the pair is at an awkward dinner with Heidi’s 3rd grade boyfriend Colby and his current girlfriend.
•Spencer’s like obsessed with the fact that Colby goes to Bible College and he’s a virgin.
•Colby’s girlfriend Ashley tells Heidi about 50 million times that she looks different! Why didn’t she just go ahead and ask the name of Heidi’s plastic surgeon?
•This double date is the best pairing ever! Spencer and Heidi are like Satan’s children living in LA and Colby and Ashley are the Uber-Baptists facing temptation in the “big city.”
•Colby and Ashley don’t drink and stay in separate hotel rooms.
•Spencer mentions that he’s had a subscription to Playboy since he was 14 and Colby just says “God forgives.” Right on, brother!
•Colby also talks about that he won’t even dance cause he was raised Southern Baptist. Why do they have to be so stereotypical?
•Then Spencer invites Colby for boxing the next day. I bet Colby can’t wait. I’d like to see him knock Spencer out.
•In Hawaii, Stephanie and Audrina are yakking about Justin Bobby and Brody again. Stephanie thinks that Audrina should hook up with Brody to make Justin Bobby jealous. Sounds like a good plan.
•Spencer and Colby are on their boxing date and Spencer’s still obsessed with the whole Bible college and virgins thing.
•So boxing seems like a pretty good time to discuss theology. Spencer calls Colby an alien (cause he’s a virgin) and then they make Bible study plans.
•Spencer’s challenge to Colby: find the Bible verse that says there is no sex before marriage.
•Back in Hawaii, Audrina admits her crush on Brody in front of everyone at dinner.
•At Bible study, nothing much happens except for Spencer being his usual rude self.
•Following dinner, Brody’s boys talk to him about Audrina’s hotness and encourage him to hook up with her.
•Brody takes the bait and goes to talk to Audrina, interrupting her phone call with Justin Bobby.
•They talk about “friendship” or something.
•The next morning, Lo, Lauren and Stephanie are trying to figure out if the Brodster and Audrina hooked up.
•In LA, Spencer’s diggin’ Colby’s Let It to Beaver vibe and that’s how he’s going to act with Heidi from now on.
•So Brody wakes up and goes to hang out with his posse. He admits that he cheated on his girlfriend with Audrina.
•Then the guys ask if he’s going to call his girlfriend to let her know. I say he should just let it go. I’m sure if he’s careful he can enjoy two months before the show actually airs and she can just get the news then.
•Audrina finally pops out of her bedroom and only admits that she slept in the same room in the same bed as Brody.
•The other girls think Jayde might come after her over Brody and Audrina says she’s totally ready for WWIII.
•That’s all folks!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Speidi Ties the Knot For Realz
The Hills Recap "Crazy in Love"
Time for another Hills recap. Instead of "Crazy in Love" I'm renaming this episode "Crazy and Dumb." Just watch and you'll see what I mean.
•The episode starts with Lauren and Audrina reminiscing about days gone by.
•Audrina babbles on about Justin Bobby , relationships, dating, blah, blah, blah.
•Of note, Lauren has a small side braid in her hair again. That’s her hair theme for this season.
•At People’s Revolution Stephanie is getting work tips from Lauren while folding clothes.
•Then Kelly Cutrone comes along and dumps out the box Stephanie just finished stuffing and tells her that she can’t eat crackers over the boxes of clothes.
•Kelly says “I am watching you Stephanie Pratt.” That line from Kelly is more terrifying than when I read “Big Brother is watching you” in 1984. If I were Stephanie, I’d be freakin out.
•Over at Bolthouse, Spencer rings up Heidi for a conversation in his car. Why do they always have discussions in his car? If I had no life, I’d go back and watch episodes of The Hills to count the number of times these car conversations have taken place. I’m just gonna go ahead and guess 50.
•So Spencer tells Heidi that he feels caged up. He also tells her that he’s not into Stacie the bartender because she’s not blond and he’s into blonds. Spencer is so comforting.
•Basically the conversation ends with Heidi insisting that they go to therapy to save their relationship.
•Next we have Laruen, Lo and Holly (Heidi’s sister) meet Brody and his buds and girlfriend at the club du jour.
•Brody and co. start talking about their Hawaii trip and Laruen wants to know why they’re not invited. Does it bother anyone else that Lauren has a sense of entitlement about everything?
•Anyhoo, Brody tells her it’s a guys’ trip and she can come another time.
•Then Lauren spies Justin Bobby and she mouths it the words to Audrina. She has to totally lean all over this guy sitting between her and Audrina who is obviously some sort of filler person like they have at awards shows. He has a look on his face like “shoot me now.”
•Justin Bobby moseys over and Audrina gives him a hug and pat.
•He wants to know why she’s patting him as if he needs to be burped. Justin Bobby is so random.
•Brody comes over to Audrina and just puts it out there that her hellos with J. Bob was awkward. He gives her some sage advice about how she’s beautiful and she needs to just go have fun.
•Meanwhile, Brody’s girlfriend is whispering to Lo wanting to know the name of the girl Brody is talking to. Is this her first date with Brody? Does she not own a TV? Did MTV not give her a copy of the script and pictures of The Hills’ cast? Hello?
•As soon as Brody finishes his convo with Audrina, clueless girlfriend has a make out session with him. I think this was supposed to be a sign of marking her territory.
•The next day at Audrina’s house, Stephanie drops by and they discuss Justin Bobby. They go back and forth about her feelings for J.B. It’s boring.
•We’re back clubbin again and Brody and his girlfriend are grabbing boobs and junk or something.
•Brody calls Spencer to invite him to Hawaii and Spencer tells him he’s in Vegas even though he’s sitting in his apartment with Heidi. Heidi can’t wait to discuss this with the therapist.
•Back at the club, Audrina is getting advice from some dude named Sleazy T. Justin Bobby arrives and he tells her that life is too short, blah, blah, blah.
•On to more important matters at People’s Revolution, Stephanie does not understand how to properly answer phones at a business. She picks up the phone and then immediately hangs up. That brings in the customers!
•Then Lauren asks her about some clothes in a box and whether or not it’s been checked in. Stephanie can’t remember or pay attention to the conversation.
•She’s also not a fan of confrontation but I’m pretty sure I remember her being confrontational with Lauren (pre- BFF) regarding Heidi and Spencer. Things that make you go hmmm...
•Spencer and Heidi are off to therapy and the Dr. is able to diagnose the problem in 3 minutes. Their issues are high schoolish. Nice one doc!
•Then they go through a therapy exercise that accomplishes nothing.
•Later on Audrina, Lauren and Lo go have food somewhere and talk about Hawaii. They decide to just show up in Hawaii and barge in on Brody and company’s trip.
•Lo thinks Audrina is going to hook up with Brody. Thanks for the future episode set up Lo!
•The episode starts with Lauren and Audrina reminiscing about days gone by.
•Audrina babbles on about Justin Bobby , relationships, dating, blah, blah, blah.
•Of note, Lauren has a small side braid in her hair again. That’s her hair theme for this season.
•At People’s Revolution Stephanie is getting work tips from Lauren while folding clothes.
•Then Kelly Cutrone comes along and dumps out the box Stephanie just finished stuffing and tells her that she can’t eat crackers over the boxes of clothes.
•Kelly says “I am watching you Stephanie Pratt.” That line from Kelly is more terrifying than when I read “Big Brother is watching you” in 1984. If I were Stephanie, I’d be freakin out.
•Over at Bolthouse, Spencer rings up Heidi for a conversation in his car. Why do they always have discussions in his car? If I had no life, I’d go back and watch episodes of The Hills to count the number of times these car conversations have taken place. I’m just gonna go ahead and guess 50.
•So Spencer tells Heidi that he feels caged up. He also tells her that he’s not into Stacie the bartender because she’s not blond and he’s into blonds. Spencer is so comforting.
•Basically the conversation ends with Heidi insisting that they go to therapy to save their relationship.
•Next we have Laruen, Lo and Holly (Heidi’s sister) meet Brody and his buds and girlfriend at the club du jour.
•Brody and co. start talking about their Hawaii trip and Laruen wants to know why they’re not invited. Does it bother anyone else that Lauren has a sense of entitlement about everything?
•Anyhoo, Brody tells her it’s a guys’ trip and she can come another time.
•Then Lauren spies Justin Bobby and she mouths it the words to Audrina. She has to totally lean all over this guy sitting between her and Audrina who is obviously some sort of filler person like they have at awards shows. He has a look on his face like “shoot me now.”
•Justin Bobby moseys over and Audrina gives him a hug and pat.
•He wants to know why she’s patting him as if he needs to be burped. Justin Bobby is so random.
•Brody comes over to Audrina and just puts it out there that her hellos with J. Bob was awkward. He gives her some sage advice about how she’s beautiful and she needs to just go have fun.
•Meanwhile, Brody’s girlfriend is whispering to Lo wanting to know the name of the girl Brody is talking to. Is this her first date with Brody? Does she not own a TV? Did MTV not give her a copy of the script and pictures of The Hills’ cast? Hello?
•As soon as Brody finishes his convo with Audrina, clueless girlfriend has a make out session with him. I think this was supposed to be a sign of marking her territory.
•The next day at Audrina’s house, Stephanie drops by and they discuss Justin Bobby. They go back and forth about her feelings for J.B. It’s boring.
•We’re back clubbin again and Brody and his girlfriend are grabbing boobs and junk or something.
•Brody calls Spencer to invite him to Hawaii and Spencer tells him he’s in Vegas even though he’s sitting in his apartment with Heidi. Heidi can’t wait to discuss this with the therapist.
•Back at the club, Audrina is getting advice from some dude named Sleazy T. Justin Bobby arrives and he tells her that life is too short, blah, blah, blah.
•On to more important matters at People’s Revolution, Stephanie does not understand how to properly answer phones at a business. She picks up the phone and then immediately hangs up. That brings in the customers!
•Then Lauren asks her about some clothes in a box and whether or not it’s been checked in. Stephanie can’t remember or pay attention to the conversation.
•She’s also not a fan of confrontation but I’m pretty sure I remember her being confrontational with Lauren (pre- BFF) regarding Heidi and Spencer. Things that make you go hmmm...
•Spencer and Heidi are off to therapy and the Dr. is able to diagnose the problem in 3 minutes. Their issues are high schoolish. Nice one doc!
•Then they go through a therapy exercise that accomplishes nothing.
•Later on Audrina, Lauren and Lo go have food somewhere and talk about Hawaii. They decide to just show up in Hawaii and barge in on Brody and company’s trip.
•Lo thinks Audrina is going to hook up with Brody. Thanks for the future episode set up Lo!
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