This week was a great start to TLC's summer of reality TV that centers on families with dozens of children, child beauty queens and little people that make chocolate. I think they could just roll all the shows into one and no one would notice.
Anyhoo, Toddlers and Tiaras had it's divalicious Season 3 debut and the standout this week was Mackenzie, as confirmed by numerous internet sources. I watched the entire episode and I don't remember any of the other little girls because Mackenzie is such as superstar. (By superstar I mean horror show.) Just think when Mackenzie grows up and gets to see her "performance" on Toddlers and Tiaras. By that point, she'll probably have sued her parents for her earned pageant money and will have molded all her crowns into one ginormous crown fit for a universal beauty queen pageant.
It's times like this when I wish my parents had "talkie" home movies of me at age 4 cause I would love to compare myself with Miss Mackenzie. Oh, I wasn't in pageants, I just would just like to see if I threw over-the-top temper tantrums.
Now, I have a few questions for Mackenzie's mom and dad (although the dad is more muted than a blade of grass in a Monet painting).
Question 1: Why is Mackenzie so mad at her parents? She's great on stage and that seems to be when she's happiest. Maybe mom and dad should let the pageant circus (is there such a thing?) adopt her and then the performance will never end, thus Mackenzie will be happy!
Question 2: Why is she 4 and still using a pacifier? For saying this I'm probably now going to be cursed with a kid who won't give up the paci until she's ten but still I have to ask. Btw, I love that Mackenzie has her pacifier in her mouth while simultaneously shaking her finger at her mom and telling her "no way!!" about her dress or hair or something. Ha,ha! When she's older, she'll just replace that paci with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth while she rants to her assistant, aka her mother. Speaking of which...
Question 3: Is there tobacco in that pacifier because Mackenzie has the raspy voice of a woman who's smoked for about 50 years. Again, I'm sure I'm dooming myself to a life with a raspy voiced kid but I had to say it.
Final Question: Why does Mackenzie's mom blink so much? Is she trying to blink away her daughter's bad attitude? Sorry Mackenzie's mom, you're not Jeannie or Samantha. Try again.
I'm sure some of you are thinking I'm being way harsh on a four-year-old so I've got some clips to back me up. First up is Mackenzie's introduction and then you get to see her in full diva mode moments before going on stage. Just watch and I'm sure you'll see what I mean.
