Time for the recap of episode 3. Therapy sessions are in Spencer and Heidi's future and Stephanie gets either a lucky or unlucky break at People's Revolution, depending on Kelly's mood.
•So Stephanie just lets herself in Spencer and Heidi’s apartment and Spencer is doing nothing as usual. He hurls a nasty comment at Stephanie regarding her hat. Bravo!
•Then Stephanie gives Spencer the 411 on Heidi’s 3rd grade boyfriend.
•Spencer decides his reaction to this should be to go out and have fun too and Stephanie tells him to be on his best behavior as if she’s admonishing an elementary school student.
•Lauren sits down for a meeting with Kelly Cutrone and Kelly likes her shirt even thought it’s not black. I thought Kelly specifically told Lauren and Whitney that they always had to wear black. Did MTV convince her that there are other colors that are camera friendly?
•Also, why does Kelly always look like a hot mess? Please, someone advise.
•So Kelly wants to get a new intern and she wants Lauren’s help. Watch out Lauren.
•MTV has alerted Stephanie that People’s Revolution wants a new hire and so she starts working over Lauren at lunch.
•Back at Heidi and Spencer’s, they’re discussing their relationship and if it’s worse to eat dinner with your 3rd grade boyfriend or do shots with a hot bartender.
•Fantastic! Stephanie arrives for her interview with Kelly Cutrone and she’s way nervous.
•This interview is the best! Stephanie looks like she’s about to wet her pants when she tells Kelly that her final objective in life is to have a hand bag line.
•Unfortunately for Stephanie, Kelly frowns on interns using her company to promote themselves.
•Kelly is most interested in knowing if Stephanie is capable of printing labels. Stephanie looks at her like a deer caught in headlights. She gives the same look when Kelly begins speaking French.
•Kelly also explains that crying is not allowed in her office. This looks like a good time for me to start taking bets on how long Stephanie can go without crying on the job.
•So finally the world’s funniest interview is over and we’re in the car with Spencer and his out of work porn star friend Charlie. Charlie has some funky car dance moves.
•Meanwhile, Heidi and Stephanie are out for sushi and they decide to roll up on Spencer and Charlie.
•So Stephanie and Heidi find Spencer chillin with Stacie the bartender and her peeps. Heidi drops an f-bomb!
•Then the insults start flying back and forth and I heard something about home wrecker and dog and housebroken. Man, these kids are witty!
•Heidi spent the night with Stephanie and decided during the night to break up with Spencer.
•Stephanie has a better idea and suggests therapy cause everybody in LA has a therapist.
•Back at People’s Revolution, Kelly tells Lauren that she’s responsible for Stephanie and if she messes up, it’s Lauren’s head. Lauren now looks like a deer caught in headlights.
•Best line of the night was from Kelly to Lauren, referring to Stephanie, “You may want to kiss her on the cheek but I’d put a gun to her back and make sure she stands up straight.” Brilliant!
•Then Heidi meets up with Spencer for breakfast or brunch or something. They don’t have real schedules anyway; they’ve got all the time in the world.
•Heidi lays down the law and tells Spencer they need therapy.
•Spencer believes a therapist’s credentials are only defined by the fact that they went to school one year longer than he did.
•The waiter comes by the table and delivers the scripted set up for Heidi to drop the final line of the show, “we’re done.” Finally!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The Hills Recap-"Everything Happens for a Reason"
It's time for the recap for episode 2 of The Hills. I'm summarizing this episode as all about deep thoughts.
•Stephanie and Spencer are fighting again. Snooze.
•But wait, something’s different. Stephanie tells Spencer that the loyalty thing is so over and he sucks. At last!
•Lauren,Audrina and Lo are talking about drama at the b-day party. Blah, blah, blah.
•Next up, Heidi walks with purpose into the bar with the infamous bartender Stacie.
•She talks to Stacie and actually asks if she remembers Spencer from the other night. Why doesn’t she just say, “Remember when MTV came in and was shooting scenes for The Hills the other night?” But I guess Hiedi’s keepin it real.
•Stacie does remember Spencer as “the fighter” but she does not realize that Spencer had a girlfriend. Hmmm….I guess she doesn’t own a TV.
•The conversation with the bartender makes Hiedi’s jaw drops so low you’d think she’d never had plastic surgery.
•Heidi leaves for Colorado to figure things out. I wish I could runaway somewhere when things in my life get rocky.
•Stephanie and Lauren have an awkward chat about Heidi. Stephanie has a hard time picking up on social cues and context clues. I’m guessing she would also have trouble with Blue’s Clues.
•So then Spencer decides to engage in a little Bromance and calls up Brody.
•Best line of the night is Spencer saying “it’s bananas homey.” He’s like a lame version of Gwen Stefani. (No offense to Gwen Stefani)
•Meanwhile, Heidi’s mom is trying to hook her up with her boyfriend from the 3rd grade.
•Heidi feels like this is set up or something. Hmm…I wonder if Heidi feels the same way about everything that happens on The Hills?
•Lauren and Brody go out and discuss deep thoughts.
•Heidi and her mom are on the balcony staring at the snow and discussing deep thoughts.
•Now Spencer’s back at the same bar with the same bartender.
•The bartender tells Spencer his girlfriend is nuts and then they drink a toast to it.
•Then the dialogue runs out and they just stare at each other and maybe they’re thinking deep thoughts?
•Stephanie and Spencer are fighting again. Snooze.
•But wait, something’s different. Stephanie tells Spencer that the loyalty thing is so over and he sucks. At last!
•Lauren,Audrina and Lo are talking about drama at the b-day party. Blah, blah, blah.
•Next up, Heidi walks with purpose into the bar with the infamous bartender Stacie.
•She talks to Stacie and actually asks if she remembers Spencer from the other night. Why doesn’t she just say, “Remember when MTV came in and was shooting scenes for The Hills the other night?” But I guess Hiedi’s keepin it real.
•Stacie does remember Spencer as “the fighter” but she does not realize that Spencer had a girlfriend. Hmmm….I guess she doesn’t own a TV.
•The conversation with the bartender makes Hiedi’s jaw drops so low you’d think she’d never had plastic surgery.
•Heidi leaves for Colorado to figure things out. I wish I could runaway somewhere when things in my life get rocky.
•Stephanie and Lauren have an awkward chat about Heidi. Stephanie has a hard time picking up on social cues and context clues. I’m guessing she would also have trouble with Blue’s Clues.
•So then Spencer decides to engage in a little Bromance and calls up Brody.
•Best line of the night is Spencer saying “it’s bananas homey.” He’s like a lame version of Gwen Stefani. (No offense to Gwen Stefani)
•Meanwhile, Heidi’s mom is trying to hook her up with her boyfriend from the 3rd grade.
•Heidi feels like this is set up or something. Hmm…I wonder if Heidi feels the same way about everything that happens on The Hills?
•Lauren and Brody go out and discuss deep thoughts.
•Heidi and her mom are on the balcony staring at the snow and discussing deep thoughts.
•Now Spencer’s back at the same bar with the same bartender.
•The bartender tells Spencer his girlfriend is nuts and then they drink a toast to it.
•Then the dialogue runs out and they just stare at each other and maybe they’re thinking deep thoughts?
The Hills Recap-"Don't Cry on Your Birthday"
The final season of The Hills has arrived and in honor of that, I've decided to recap each episode. I know, I'm like 4 episodes behind now but give me a chance and I'll catch up.
So the 1st episode was all about Lauren's b'day party and all the drama that came along with it. Here goes:
•Stephanie tells Heidi “it’s 100% fine” for her to go to Lauren’s b-day party. The par-tay is on a yacht so Lauren won’t be able to escape. Stephanie’s a mastermind of putting people in awkward situations. Sweet!
•Lo and Audrina have the whole party planned as a surprise. They discuss Heidi and state about 5 times to the camera that they did not invite her.
•What kind of lipstick is Lauren wearing? It’s like vampire red. Not sure if it matches her ‘stache.
•I love that Heidi tells Spencer that Stephanie arranged this whole “girls night out” and then Stephanie immediately debunks it and says she didn’t arrange anything. Spencer wants to know if “the queen bi-otch” is going to be there. Btw, he means Lauren.
•Why does Lauren get to have her birthday party on a yacht? And what birthday is this anyway? I was discussing this with a fellow Hills watcher and we’re convinced Lauren has a birthday every six months and also when MTV needs a party atmosphere for an episode or just whenever Lauren is bored. That should make her about 42.
•So Spencer goes to some bar with his friend Charlie who looks like an out of work 1970’s porn star. They do shots of tequila with the bartender and Spencer reminisces about his Mexican wedding that didn’t count.
•Meanwhile back on the boat, Heidi and Stephanie show up late and Lauren gives Heidi the evil eye while simultaneously hugging her.
•Fun question! Lauren, why do you continue to hang out with Stephanie?
•Stephanie’s trying to be some sort of weird friendship matchmaker.
•Spencer yells to the bartender (like she cares) that “that’s my sister’s ex-boyfriend over there.” Then he just has to get up and say hello. Spencer takes directorial cues very well.
•The ex-boyfriend texts Stephanie about Spencer’s flirting!
•Wow! Stephanie and Audrina really know how to keep a secret!
•Just like the telephone game, word gets to Lauren. Even though she doesn’t want to be friends with Heidi, she still has to go find out what’s happening.
•Spencer hangs up with Heidi and then confronts Cameron. Awesome! He calls him dawg 3 or 4 times and then challenges Cameron to touch him first so he can mess him up.
•What do you know! Those martial arts classes really helped Spencer. He actually made Cameron bleed!
•Lauren tries to console Heidi and then wants to know if she can be real for a minute.
•Then things get “very real” when Lauren and Heidi cry about their broken friendship. End scene.
•Shakespeare’s got nothing on this tragedy.
So the 1st episode was all about Lauren's b'day party and all the drama that came along with it. Here goes:
•Stephanie tells Heidi “it’s 100% fine” for her to go to Lauren’s b-day party. The par-tay is on a yacht so Lauren won’t be able to escape. Stephanie’s a mastermind of putting people in awkward situations. Sweet!
•Lo and Audrina have the whole party planned as a surprise. They discuss Heidi and state about 5 times to the camera that they did not invite her.
•What kind of lipstick is Lauren wearing? It’s like vampire red. Not sure if it matches her ‘stache.
•I love that Heidi tells Spencer that Stephanie arranged this whole “girls night out” and then Stephanie immediately debunks it and says she didn’t arrange anything. Spencer wants to know if “the queen bi-otch” is going to be there. Btw, he means Lauren.
•Why does Lauren get to have her birthday party on a yacht? And what birthday is this anyway? I was discussing this with a fellow Hills watcher and we’re convinced Lauren has a birthday every six months and also when MTV needs a party atmosphere for an episode or just whenever Lauren is bored. That should make her about 42.
•So Spencer goes to some bar with his friend Charlie who looks like an out of work 1970’s porn star. They do shots of tequila with the bartender and Spencer reminisces about his Mexican wedding that didn’t count.
•Meanwhile back on the boat, Heidi and Stephanie show up late and Lauren gives Heidi the evil eye while simultaneously hugging her.
•Fun question! Lauren, why do you continue to hang out with Stephanie?
•Stephanie’s trying to be some sort of weird friendship matchmaker.
•Spencer yells to the bartender (like she cares) that “that’s my sister’s ex-boyfriend over there.” Then he just has to get up and say hello. Spencer takes directorial cues very well.
•The ex-boyfriend texts Stephanie about Spencer’s flirting!
•Wow! Stephanie and Audrina really know how to keep a secret!
•Just like the telephone game, word gets to Lauren. Even though she doesn’t want to be friends with Heidi, she still has to go find out what’s happening.
•Spencer hangs up with Heidi and then confronts Cameron. Awesome! He calls him dawg 3 or 4 times and then challenges Cameron to touch him first so he can mess him up.
•What do you know! Those martial arts classes really helped Spencer. He actually made Cameron bleed!
•Lauren tries to console Heidi and then wants to know if she can be real for a minute.
•Then things get “very real” when Lauren and Heidi cry about their broken friendship. End scene.
•Shakespeare’s got nothing on this tragedy.
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