So it was busy last week and I didn't get to post this recap until now but here goes. The drama in this episode was almost as free flowing as the Jagermeister. Almost.
•Audrina and Lauren are shopping and talking about Frankie’s BBQ.
•Lauren tells Audrina that Brody told Jayde about their night together.
•Then Lauren adds a profound quote “It’s not fun when vacation baggage follows you home.” She’s like the Dali Lama of Beverly Hills
•Heidi is blabbing to Kimberly about Stacie the bartender’s text message to Spencer.
•Her master plan is to show up at the club Stacie texted Spencer about and have a showdown.
•Over at the BBQ, Brody tries to calm Jayde about Audrina popping into the party.
•Meanwhile at the club, Heidi and her posse arrive to hunt down Stacie.
•Stephanie uses about a million and one adjectives to describe Stacie, some of which cannot be found in any thesaurus.
•Finally, Stacie arrives and the OMGs ensue.
•Stacie plops down near Heidi and they have a friendly chat.
•Stacie tells Heidi that there will always be another “Stacie” Has Stacie been able to clone herself?
•Jayde’s having a panic attack about Audrina and she calls Frankie retarded. Awesome!
•Audrina shows up and blows some kisses at Brody and Jayde is ticked.
•So Jayde tells off Audrina and uses the f word a couple times then drowns her sorrows in a bottle of Jagermeister. She’s class all the way.
•Spencer and Heidi are back at the therapist’s office and their talking about text messages. The therapist looks like she wishes she could disintegrate them both using mind powers.
•So Stephanie and Audrina are talking about Brody and Jayde’s relationship problems. Is it weird that Audrina is suddenly an expert on relationships? Call Dr. Phil or something!
•Btw, Audrina also knows a lot about Brody. She makes it a point to say how much she knows about him and how long she’s known him.
•How many clubs are there in LA? I love how Hills cast members “run into each other” at random clubs constantly. I appreciate that MTV ensures there will be drama this way.
•Audrina and Stephanie hook up with Brody, Jayde and crew at some club and right away Jayde tells Brody to make them leave.
•Brody tells Jayde he can’t be mean so he’s gonna make her tell Audrina off.
•They all get into a ridiculous confrontation and the Aurdrina leaves so Jayde can go back to swigging Jager and full on mackin on Brody.
•Next day, Audrina and her stupid hat show up to lunch with Lo and Lauren.
•Lauren deals out some sound advice. Maybe she really is the Dali Lama of Beverly Hills!
•In therapy session, Spencer has a breakthrough and then gets choked up. Way to get into the scene Spencer.
•Lauren and Brody spend some friend time at Lauren’s second lunch of the day? I don’t know.
•In any case, Brody says his feelings lie with Jayde and I don’t think Lauren’s too happy with that answer. MTV should’ve done a Heidi flashback after she said that.
•Until next time…
Showing posts with label Brody Jenner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brody Jenner. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Hills Recap: "I Always Had a Little Crush"
It's time once again for The Hills recap. This week's episode was all about Beaches and Bible study. Enjoy!
•This week Lauren, Lo, Audrina and Stephanie crash Brody and gang’s par-tay in Hawaii and they all do shots to celebrate.
•Then we skip to the group on the beach. The boys are surfing and the girls are soaking up the sun.
•Audrina and Stephanie are yakking about Justin Bobby.
•Just when I thought California didn’t have anything I could identify with, they show Spencer and Heidi in a Barnes and Nobles.
•Heidi drops the news that her 3rd grade boyfriend Colby is coming to town.
•Back in Hawaii, the kids are sitting around a campfire and having a conversation I think I had in 7th grade.
•Stephanie wants to know if she’s single now; hint, hint Brody that’s your cue to begin crush stage one with Audrina.
•Btw, Brody has also noted that Audrina has on the hottest one piece bathing suit he’s ever seen.
•Meanwhile in Speidiland, the pair is at an awkward dinner with Heidi’s 3rd grade boyfriend Colby and his current girlfriend.
•Spencer’s like obsessed with the fact that Colby goes to Bible College and he’s a virgin.
•Colby’s girlfriend Ashley tells Heidi about 50 million times that she looks different! Why didn’t she just go ahead and ask the name of Heidi’s plastic surgeon?
•This double date is the best pairing ever! Spencer and Heidi are like Satan’s children living in LA and Colby and Ashley are the Uber-Baptists facing temptation in the “big city.”
•Colby and Ashley don’t drink and stay in separate hotel rooms.
•Spencer mentions that he’s had a subscription to Playboy since he was 14 and Colby just says “God forgives.” Right on, brother!
•Colby also talks about that he won’t even dance cause he was raised Southern Baptist. Why do they have to be so stereotypical?
•Then Spencer invites Colby for boxing the next day. I bet Colby can’t wait. I’d like to see him knock Spencer out.
•In Hawaii, Stephanie and Audrina are yakking about Justin Bobby and Brody again. Stephanie thinks that Audrina should hook up with Brody to make Justin Bobby jealous. Sounds like a good plan.
•Spencer and Colby are on their boxing date and Spencer’s still obsessed with the whole Bible college and virgins thing.
•So boxing seems like a pretty good time to discuss theology. Spencer calls Colby an alien (cause he’s a virgin) and then they make Bible study plans.
•Spencer’s challenge to Colby: find the Bible verse that says there is no sex before marriage.
•Back in Hawaii, Audrina admits her crush on Brody in front of everyone at dinner.
•At Bible study, nothing much happens except for Spencer being his usual rude self.
•Following dinner, Brody’s boys talk to him about Audrina’s hotness and encourage him to hook up with her.
•Brody takes the bait and goes to talk to Audrina, interrupting her phone call with Justin Bobby.
•They talk about “friendship” or something.
•The next morning, Lo, Lauren and Stephanie are trying to figure out if the Brodster and Audrina hooked up.
•In LA, Spencer’s diggin’ Colby’s Let It to Beaver vibe and that’s how he’s going to act with Heidi from now on.
•So Brody wakes up and goes to hang out with his posse. He admits that he cheated on his girlfriend with Audrina.
•Then the guys ask if he’s going to call his girlfriend to let her know. I say he should just let it go. I’m sure if he’s careful he can enjoy two months before the show actually airs and she can just get the news then.
•Audrina finally pops out of her bedroom and only admits that she slept in the same room in the same bed as Brody.
•The other girls think Jayde might come after her over Brody and Audrina says she’s totally ready for WWIII.
•That’s all folks!
•This week Lauren, Lo, Audrina and Stephanie crash Brody and gang’s par-tay in Hawaii and they all do shots to celebrate.
•Then we skip to the group on the beach. The boys are surfing and the girls are soaking up the sun.
•Audrina and Stephanie are yakking about Justin Bobby.
•Just when I thought California didn’t have anything I could identify with, they show Spencer and Heidi in a Barnes and Nobles.
•Heidi drops the news that her 3rd grade boyfriend Colby is coming to town.
•Back in Hawaii, the kids are sitting around a campfire and having a conversation I think I had in 7th grade.
•Stephanie wants to know if she’s single now; hint, hint Brody that’s your cue to begin crush stage one with Audrina.
•Btw, Brody has also noted that Audrina has on the hottest one piece bathing suit he’s ever seen.
•Meanwhile in Speidiland, the pair is at an awkward dinner with Heidi’s 3rd grade boyfriend Colby and his current girlfriend.
•Spencer’s like obsessed with the fact that Colby goes to Bible College and he’s a virgin.
•Colby’s girlfriend Ashley tells Heidi about 50 million times that she looks different! Why didn’t she just go ahead and ask the name of Heidi’s plastic surgeon?
•This double date is the best pairing ever! Spencer and Heidi are like Satan’s children living in LA and Colby and Ashley are the Uber-Baptists facing temptation in the “big city.”
•Colby and Ashley don’t drink and stay in separate hotel rooms.
•Spencer mentions that he’s had a subscription to Playboy since he was 14 and Colby just says “God forgives.” Right on, brother!
•Colby also talks about that he won’t even dance cause he was raised Southern Baptist. Why do they have to be so stereotypical?
•Then Spencer invites Colby for boxing the next day. I bet Colby can’t wait. I’d like to see him knock Spencer out.
•In Hawaii, Stephanie and Audrina are yakking about Justin Bobby and Brody again. Stephanie thinks that Audrina should hook up with Brody to make Justin Bobby jealous. Sounds like a good plan.
•Spencer and Colby are on their boxing date and Spencer’s still obsessed with the whole Bible college and virgins thing.
•So boxing seems like a pretty good time to discuss theology. Spencer calls Colby an alien (cause he’s a virgin) and then they make Bible study plans.
•Spencer’s challenge to Colby: find the Bible verse that says there is no sex before marriage.
•Back in Hawaii, Audrina admits her crush on Brody in front of everyone at dinner.
•At Bible study, nothing much happens except for Spencer being his usual rude self.
•Following dinner, Brody’s boys talk to him about Audrina’s hotness and encourage him to hook up with her.
•Brody takes the bait and goes to talk to Audrina, interrupting her phone call with Justin Bobby.
•They talk about “friendship” or something.
•The next morning, Lo, Lauren and Stephanie are trying to figure out if the Brodster and Audrina hooked up.
•In LA, Spencer’s diggin’ Colby’s Let It to Beaver vibe and that’s how he’s going to act with Heidi from now on.
•So Brody wakes up and goes to hang out with his posse. He admits that he cheated on his girlfriend with Audrina.
•Then the guys ask if he’s going to call his girlfriend to let her know. I say he should just let it go. I’m sure if he’s careful he can enjoy two months before the show actually airs and she can just get the news then.
•Audrina finally pops out of her bedroom and only admits that she slept in the same room in the same bed as Brody.
•The other girls think Jayde might come after her over Brody and Audrina says she’s totally ready for WWIII.
•That’s all folks!
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Hills Recap "Crazy in Love"
Time for another Hills recap. Instead of "Crazy in Love" I'm renaming this episode "Crazy and Dumb." Just watch and you'll see what I mean.
•The episode starts with Lauren and Audrina reminiscing about days gone by.
•Audrina babbles on about Justin Bobby , relationships, dating, blah, blah, blah.
•Of note, Lauren has a small side braid in her hair again. That’s her hair theme for this season.
•At People’s Revolution Stephanie is getting work tips from Lauren while folding clothes.
•Then Kelly Cutrone comes along and dumps out the box Stephanie just finished stuffing and tells her that she can’t eat crackers over the boxes of clothes.
•Kelly says “I am watching you Stephanie Pratt.” That line from Kelly is more terrifying than when I read “Big Brother is watching you” in 1984. If I were Stephanie, I’d be freakin out.
•Over at Bolthouse, Spencer rings up Heidi for a conversation in his car. Why do they always have discussions in his car? If I had no life, I’d go back and watch episodes of The Hills to count the number of times these car conversations have taken place. I’m just gonna go ahead and guess 50.
•So Spencer tells Heidi that he feels caged up. He also tells her that he’s not into Stacie the bartender because she’s not blond and he’s into blonds. Spencer is so comforting.
•Basically the conversation ends with Heidi insisting that they go to therapy to save their relationship.
•Next we have Laruen, Lo and Holly (Heidi’s sister) meet Brody and his buds and girlfriend at the club du jour.
•Brody and co. start talking about their Hawaii trip and Laruen wants to know why they’re not invited. Does it bother anyone else that Lauren has a sense of entitlement about everything?
•Anyhoo, Brody tells her it’s a guys’ trip and she can come another time.
•Then Lauren spies Justin Bobby and she mouths it the words to Audrina. She has to totally lean all over this guy sitting between her and Audrina who is obviously some sort of filler person like they have at awards shows. He has a look on his face like “shoot me now.”
•Justin Bobby moseys over and Audrina gives him a hug and pat.
•He wants to know why she’s patting him as if he needs to be burped. Justin Bobby is so random.
•Brody comes over to Audrina and just puts it out there that her hellos with J. Bob was awkward. He gives her some sage advice about how she’s beautiful and she needs to just go have fun.
•Meanwhile, Brody’s girlfriend is whispering to Lo wanting to know the name of the girl Brody is talking to. Is this her first date with Brody? Does she not own a TV? Did MTV not give her a copy of the script and pictures of The Hills’ cast? Hello?
•As soon as Brody finishes his convo with Audrina, clueless girlfriend has a make out session with him. I think this was supposed to be a sign of marking her territory.
•The next day at Audrina’s house, Stephanie drops by and they discuss Justin Bobby. They go back and forth about her feelings for J.B. It’s boring.
•We’re back clubbin again and Brody and his girlfriend are grabbing boobs and junk or something.
•Brody calls Spencer to invite him to Hawaii and Spencer tells him he’s in Vegas even though he’s sitting in his apartment with Heidi. Heidi can’t wait to discuss this with the therapist.
•Back at the club, Audrina is getting advice from some dude named Sleazy T. Justin Bobby arrives and he tells her that life is too short, blah, blah, blah.
•On to more important matters at People’s Revolution, Stephanie does not understand how to properly answer phones at a business. She picks up the phone and then immediately hangs up. That brings in the customers!
•Then Lauren asks her about some clothes in a box and whether or not it’s been checked in. Stephanie can’t remember or pay attention to the conversation.
•She’s also not a fan of confrontation but I’m pretty sure I remember her being confrontational with Lauren (pre- BFF) regarding Heidi and Spencer. Things that make you go hmmm...
•Spencer and Heidi are off to therapy and the Dr. is able to diagnose the problem in 3 minutes. Their issues are high schoolish. Nice one doc!
•Then they go through a therapy exercise that accomplishes nothing.
•Later on Audrina, Lauren and Lo go have food somewhere and talk about Hawaii. They decide to just show up in Hawaii and barge in on Brody and company’s trip.
•Lo thinks Audrina is going to hook up with Brody. Thanks for the future episode set up Lo!
•The episode starts with Lauren and Audrina reminiscing about days gone by.
•Audrina babbles on about Justin Bobby , relationships, dating, blah, blah, blah.
•Of note, Lauren has a small side braid in her hair again. That’s her hair theme for this season.
•At People’s Revolution Stephanie is getting work tips from Lauren while folding clothes.
•Then Kelly Cutrone comes along and dumps out the box Stephanie just finished stuffing and tells her that she can’t eat crackers over the boxes of clothes.
•Kelly says “I am watching you Stephanie Pratt.” That line from Kelly is more terrifying than when I read “Big Brother is watching you” in 1984. If I were Stephanie, I’d be freakin out.
•Over at Bolthouse, Spencer rings up Heidi for a conversation in his car. Why do they always have discussions in his car? If I had no life, I’d go back and watch episodes of The Hills to count the number of times these car conversations have taken place. I’m just gonna go ahead and guess 50.
•So Spencer tells Heidi that he feels caged up. He also tells her that he’s not into Stacie the bartender because she’s not blond and he’s into blonds. Spencer is so comforting.
•Basically the conversation ends with Heidi insisting that they go to therapy to save their relationship.
•Next we have Laruen, Lo and Holly (Heidi’s sister) meet Brody and his buds and girlfriend at the club du jour.
•Brody and co. start talking about their Hawaii trip and Laruen wants to know why they’re not invited. Does it bother anyone else that Lauren has a sense of entitlement about everything?
•Anyhoo, Brody tells her it’s a guys’ trip and she can come another time.
•Then Lauren spies Justin Bobby and she mouths it the words to Audrina. She has to totally lean all over this guy sitting between her and Audrina who is obviously some sort of filler person like they have at awards shows. He has a look on his face like “shoot me now.”
•Justin Bobby moseys over and Audrina gives him a hug and pat.
•He wants to know why she’s patting him as if he needs to be burped. Justin Bobby is so random.
•Brody comes over to Audrina and just puts it out there that her hellos with J. Bob was awkward. He gives her some sage advice about how she’s beautiful and she needs to just go have fun.
•Meanwhile, Brody’s girlfriend is whispering to Lo wanting to know the name of the girl Brody is talking to. Is this her first date with Brody? Does she not own a TV? Did MTV not give her a copy of the script and pictures of The Hills’ cast? Hello?
•As soon as Brody finishes his convo with Audrina, clueless girlfriend has a make out session with him. I think this was supposed to be a sign of marking her territory.
•The next day at Audrina’s house, Stephanie drops by and they discuss Justin Bobby. They go back and forth about her feelings for J.B. It’s boring.
•We’re back clubbin again and Brody and his girlfriend are grabbing boobs and junk or something.
•Brody calls Spencer to invite him to Hawaii and Spencer tells him he’s in Vegas even though he’s sitting in his apartment with Heidi. Heidi can’t wait to discuss this with the therapist.
•Back at the club, Audrina is getting advice from some dude named Sleazy T. Justin Bobby arrives and he tells her that life is too short, blah, blah, blah.
•On to more important matters at People’s Revolution, Stephanie does not understand how to properly answer phones at a business. She picks up the phone and then immediately hangs up. That brings in the customers!
•Then Lauren asks her about some clothes in a box and whether or not it’s been checked in. Stephanie can’t remember or pay attention to the conversation.
•She’s also not a fan of confrontation but I’m pretty sure I remember her being confrontational with Lauren (pre- BFF) regarding Heidi and Spencer. Things that make you go hmmm...
•Spencer and Heidi are off to therapy and the Dr. is able to diagnose the problem in 3 minutes. Their issues are high schoolish. Nice one doc!
•Then they go through a therapy exercise that accomplishes nothing.
•Later on Audrina, Lauren and Lo go have food somewhere and talk about Hawaii. They decide to just show up in Hawaii and barge in on Brody and company’s trip.
•Lo thinks Audrina is going to hook up with Brody. Thanks for the future episode set up Lo!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The Hills Recap-"Everything Happens for a Reason"
It's time for the recap for episode 2 of The Hills. I'm summarizing this episode as all about deep thoughts.
•Stephanie and Spencer are fighting again. Snooze.
•But wait, something’s different. Stephanie tells Spencer that the loyalty thing is so over and he sucks. At last!
•Lauren,Audrina and Lo are talking about drama at the b-day party. Blah, blah, blah.
•Next up, Heidi walks with purpose into the bar with the infamous bartender Stacie.
•She talks to Stacie and actually asks if she remembers Spencer from the other night. Why doesn’t she just say, “Remember when MTV came in and was shooting scenes for The Hills the other night?” But I guess Hiedi’s keepin it real.
•Stacie does remember Spencer as “the fighter” but she does not realize that Spencer had a girlfriend. Hmmm….I guess she doesn’t own a TV.
•The conversation with the bartender makes Hiedi’s jaw drops so low you’d think she’d never had plastic surgery.
•Heidi leaves for Colorado to figure things out. I wish I could runaway somewhere when things in my life get rocky.
•Stephanie and Lauren have an awkward chat about Heidi. Stephanie has a hard time picking up on social cues and context clues. I’m guessing she would also have trouble with Blue’s Clues.
•So then Spencer decides to engage in a little Bromance and calls up Brody.
•Best line of the night is Spencer saying “it’s bananas homey.” He’s like a lame version of Gwen Stefani. (No offense to Gwen Stefani)
•Meanwhile, Heidi’s mom is trying to hook her up with her boyfriend from the 3rd grade.
•Heidi feels like this is set up or something. Hmm…I wonder if Heidi feels the same way about everything that happens on The Hills?
•Lauren and Brody go out and discuss deep thoughts.
•Heidi and her mom are on the balcony staring at the snow and discussing deep thoughts.
•Now Spencer’s back at the same bar with the same bartender.
•The bartender tells Spencer his girlfriend is nuts and then they drink a toast to it.
•Then the dialogue runs out and they just stare at each other and maybe they’re thinking deep thoughts?
•Stephanie and Spencer are fighting again. Snooze.
•But wait, something’s different. Stephanie tells Spencer that the loyalty thing is so over and he sucks. At last!
•Lauren,Audrina and Lo are talking about drama at the b-day party. Blah, blah, blah.
•Next up, Heidi walks with purpose into the bar with the infamous bartender Stacie.
•She talks to Stacie and actually asks if she remembers Spencer from the other night. Why doesn’t she just say, “Remember when MTV came in and was shooting scenes for The Hills the other night?” But I guess Hiedi’s keepin it real.
•Stacie does remember Spencer as “the fighter” but she does not realize that Spencer had a girlfriend. Hmmm….I guess she doesn’t own a TV.
•The conversation with the bartender makes Hiedi’s jaw drops so low you’d think she’d never had plastic surgery.
•Heidi leaves for Colorado to figure things out. I wish I could runaway somewhere when things in my life get rocky.
•Stephanie and Lauren have an awkward chat about Heidi. Stephanie has a hard time picking up on social cues and context clues. I’m guessing she would also have trouble with Blue’s Clues.
•So then Spencer decides to engage in a little Bromance and calls up Brody.
•Best line of the night is Spencer saying “it’s bananas homey.” He’s like a lame version of Gwen Stefani. (No offense to Gwen Stefani)
•Meanwhile, Heidi’s mom is trying to hook her up with her boyfriend from the 3rd grade.
•Heidi feels like this is set up or something. Hmm…I wonder if Heidi feels the same way about everything that happens on The Hills?
•Lauren and Brody go out and discuss deep thoughts.
•Heidi and her mom are on the balcony staring at the snow and discussing deep thoughts.
•Now Spencer’s back at the same bar with the same bartender.
•The bartender tells Spencer his girlfriend is nuts and then they drink a toast to it.
•Then the dialogue runs out and they just stare at each other and maybe they’re thinking deep thoughts?
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sweet Salaries in The Hills
OK peeps, I know this is super old news but I had forgotten about it until I was recapping this week's episode of The Hills with a friend. Way back in August, In Touch Weekly got a hold of the salaries for the stars of MTV's prima donna fashioned reality show. I posted the list below so you can see for yourselves. Keep in mind that these salaries are not annual. THEY ARE PER EPISODE.
Lauren alone makes $75,000 per episode and the rest of the cast follows suit. I used to think it'd be great to make $75,000 in a year. That's a decent salary! But $75,000 per episdode? Per Episode? Blood may come shooting out of my eyeballs! (to borrow a phrase from Glenn Beck)
Do they pay Lauren by how many times she paints her nails? Whitney by each facial expression and OMG? Spencer every time he offers a snide remark or by the length of his flesh colored beard? The Soup video below may prove both enligtening and entertaining on this point.
Lauren Conrad: $75,000 / episode
Heidi Montag: $65,000 / episode
Spencer Pratt: $65,000 / episode
Audrina Patridge: $35,000 / episode
Whitney Port: $20,000 / episode
Brody Jenner: $10,000 / episode
Lauren “Lo” Bosworth: $10,000 / episode
Stephanie Pratt: $8,000 / episode
Source, Source, Source
Lauren alone makes $75,000 per episode and the rest of the cast follows suit. I used to think it'd be great to make $75,000 in a year. That's a decent salary! But $75,000 per episdode? Per Episode? Blood may come shooting out of my eyeballs! (to borrow a phrase from Glenn Beck)
Do they pay Lauren by how many times she paints her nails? Whitney by each facial expression and OMG? Spencer every time he offers a snide remark or by the length of his flesh colored beard? The Soup video below may prove both enligtening and entertaining on this point.
Lauren Conrad: $75,000 / episode
Heidi Montag: $65,000 / episode
Spencer Pratt: $65,000 / episode
Audrina Patridge: $35,000 / episode
Whitney Port: $20,000 / episode
Brody Jenner: $10,000 / episode
Lauren “Lo” Bosworth: $10,000 / episode
Stephanie Pratt: $8,000 / episode
Source, Source, Source
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
LC Advertising for LG
LG recently debuted its new commercial featuring Hills star Lauren Conrad. She's teamed up with former crush, current ad campaign partner Brody Jenner for the new LG phone Shine. The phone does look slick and I am in the market for a new phone. But I would never allow faux reality show stars to influence my purchase, would I?
Check out the new commercial here. For more features on the phone, check this out.
Check out the new commercial here. For more features on the phone, check this out.
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