The final season of The Hills has arrived and in honor of that, I've decided to recap each episode. I know, I'm like 4 episodes behind now but give me a chance and I'll catch up.
So the 1st episode was all about Lauren's b'day party and all the drama that came along with it. Here goes:
•Stephanie tells Heidi “it’s 100% fine” for her to go to Lauren’s b-day party. The par-tay is on a yacht so Lauren won’t be able to escape. Stephanie’s a mastermind of putting people in awkward situations. Sweet!
•Lo and Audrina have the whole party planned as a surprise. They discuss Heidi and state about 5 times to the camera that they did not invite her.
•What kind of lipstick is Lauren wearing? It’s like vampire red. Not sure if it matches her ‘stache.
•I love that Heidi tells Spencer that Stephanie arranged this whole “girls night out” and then Stephanie immediately debunks it and says she didn’t arrange anything. Spencer wants to know if “the queen bi-otch” is going to be there. Btw, he means Lauren.
•Why does Lauren get to have her birthday party on a yacht? And what birthday is this anyway? I was discussing this with a fellow Hills watcher and we’re convinced Lauren has a birthday every six months and also when MTV needs a party atmosphere for an episode or just whenever Lauren is bored. That should make her about 42.
•So Spencer goes to some bar with his friend Charlie who looks like an out of work 1970’s porn star. They do shots of tequila with the bartender and Spencer reminisces about his Mexican wedding that didn’t count.
•Meanwhile back on the boat, Heidi and Stephanie show up late and Lauren gives Heidi the evil eye while simultaneously hugging her.
•Fun question! Lauren, why do you continue to hang out with Stephanie?
•Stephanie’s trying to be some sort of weird friendship matchmaker.
•Spencer yells to the bartender (like she cares) that “that’s my sister’s ex-boyfriend over there.” Then he just has to get up and say hello. Spencer takes directorial cues very well.
•The ex-boyfriend texts Stephanie about Spencer’s flirting!
•Wow! Stephanie and Audrina really know how to keep a secret!
•Just like the telephone game, word gets to Lauren. Even though she doesn’t want to be friends with Heidi, she still has to go find out what’s happening.
•Spencer hangs up with Heidi and then confronts Cameron. Awesome! He calls him dawg 3 or 4 times and then challenges Cameron to touch him first so he can mess him up.
•What do you know! Those martial arts classes really helped Spencer. He actually made Cameron bleed!
•Lauren tries to console Heidi and then wants to know if she can be real for a minute.
•Then things get “very real” when Lauren and Heidi cry about their broken friendship. End scene.
•Shakespeare’s got nothing on this tragedy.
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