Bad Apple Turns Good

I saw exactly 10% of American Idol tonight because I was fiddling with my iPod. My iPod is with me 24/7. It's in my car, at work, in bed and strapped to me while I clean house. While driving home from work today, it froze. Froze!!!! I about had a wreck because I was so concerned. OK, I'm being slightly melodramatic here but I have to stress the importance of my iPod. I was rockin out in my car to my tunes like I always do and I pressed the forward button to skip a few songs. It landed on Madonna's Vogue and then it was like time stood still. I pressed the buttons frantically but nothing happened. There was no error message or frowny face to let me know there was a problem; it was just stuck. I got home and had to take care of some other business and by the time I was ready to deal with my iPod, American Idol was on. I had the show in the background 'cause I thought the solution would be easy, just restore to original settings. Simple right? Wrong, because I plugged it into my computer and nothing registered. I might as well have plugged a toaster into my computer; nothing came up showing my iPod. My freakout mode went into overdrive at that point. I immediately went to Apple's Service and Support. The screen instructed me to perform a series of 5 troubleshooting scenarios, none of which worked because my iPod would not even register on my computer. I reviewed each scenario thoroughly though; knowing all the while I would have to get on the phone with a tech to resolve this disaster. However, I didn't want to be embarrassed when the tech would inevitably ask "Did you do X?" and I'd sheepishly reply "no." I've had this happen on way too many occasions so I decided to get everything in order so that I could quickly exclaim that I'd already tried that when the tech fired questions at me. It was just before I was ready to make the call to Apple support that I saw some information stating that "complimentary phone support" is only available to Apple customers within 90 days of ownership. My iPod is almost a year old. I read the statement over and over again trying to comprehend the meaning. What was I to do? I didn't think the good people at Apple could be this unfriendly. Was I not allowed to call simply because my product was aged over 90 days? I decided I'd have to make the call anyway. It was either my iPod was getting fixed or Apple was going down! Prior to my phone call, I held an imaginary conversation with the Apple tech to prepare myself. In my head the conversation went something like this:

Apple tech: Hello, thank you for calling Apple Support. How can I help you?

Me: (on the verge of tears) My iPod is broken.

Apple tech: What seems to be the problem?

Me: The screen is frozen.

Apple tech: (rolling eyes) Have you tried restoring to it's factory settings?

Me: No because I plugged it into my computer and it doesn't even register.

Apple tech: Let's see what we can do. What's your serial number?

Me: (giving the serial number)

Apple tech: I'm sorry ma'am, according to your serial number, your iPod is almost a year old and that makes you ineligible for complimentary tech support.

Me: What exactly is that supposed to mean? I bought this iPod and I take excellent care of it. It is my other "precious" besides my laptop. I demand that you help me fix my iPod!

Apple tech: Ma'am, you may purchase an extension of your AppleCare Protection Plan now and then I'll be able to assist you further. Would you like for me to set that up for you now?

Me: Absolutely not! I need for you to diagnose this problem immediately and help me fix my iPod. I realize that you don't make the rules at Apple but I really need my iPod to work. Do I need to box it up and mail it to Apple? I will! I just want my iPod to work again.

Apple tech: (sighing and rolling eyes again) Ma'am your 90 day warranty has ended. We cannot offer you any further assistance unless you purchase an extension of AppleCare Support or you also have the option to purchase a single incident of support for $29.

Me: $29?!?! Seriously!?!? (blood pressure rising and hyperventilation beginning) This issue can't cost $29! My iPod was not shattered into a million pieces on the concrete or doused in water. It can't be that serious. Can't you troubleshoot over the phone with me? I bet you can fix this problem in a jiffy. (trying to butter up tech)

Apple tech: (condescending tone) You will need to choose one or the other before I can assist you further.

Me: (sounding defeated) I'll purchase a single incident of support for $29.

Apple tech: Please give me your credit card # and expiration date.

Me: *#@^$!!! (under my breath) Giving tech the cc info.

Apple tech: Thank you. Now press the center button twice quickly and then hold it down for 45 seconds.

Me: OK. (performing action)

45 seconds later

Me: My iPod is unfrozen!

Apple tech: Everything seems to be in working order and it's now registering on your computer?

Me: Yes!

Apple tech: Thank you for calling Apple Support and have a good night. (hangs up)

Me: $29 for 45 seconds? *#@^$!!!

Fortunately for me, my imaginary scenario was completely inaccurate, starting with the fact that I never even spoke with a live person. I worked my way through the computer menu and my iPod was fixed in about 2 minutes by pressing the menu button and the center button simultaneously for 10 seconds.

I let myself get worked into a tizzy for nothing. I blame the combination of excess caffeine surging through my system and a cloudy brain due to sleep deprivation. I suppose that would have made for an even more interesting actual battle with an Apple tech but now I'll never know.

I'm happy to report that I was not charged for this tech support, my problem was resolved quickly and my iPod is at my side and humming along again. Apple turned out good after all. Thank you Apple!!